*Trigger warning: this post discusses domestic abuse (although not in detail)*
[EDIT: This post raised some interesting questions from various readers. I have since changed the wording of a sentence in the last paragraph. My issue with the pathologizing of female behavior is not to diminish domestic abuse committed by women. In fact, it is an attempt to help differentiate between people complaining about their female partners' annoying behavior and people disclosing their female partners' abusive behavior. The line is sometimes blurred and I appreciate that people are recognizing the importance of encouraging victims of abuse by women to come forward for help. The societal views will not change unless we demand that they do.]
[EDIT: This post raised some interesting questions from various readers. I have since changed the wording of a sentence in the last paragraph. My issue with the pathologizing of female behavior is not to diminish domestic abuse committed by women. In fact, it is an attempt to help differentiate between people complaining about their female partners' annoying behavior and people disclosing their female partners' abusive behavior. The line is sometimes blurred and I appreciate that people are recognizing the importance of encouraging victims of abuse by women to come forward for help. The societal views will not change unless we demand that they do.]
So, I was directed via Facebook to a lol--omg--so freaking funny blog post over at Shrink4Men by Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, in which she trivializes female abusers at the same time as she warns of their danger. The "crazy bitch quiz," which is an advertisement for her remote counseling services offered for a fee via Skype, mixes serious warning signs of abusive relationships ("Do you find yourself making excuses to your family, friends and colleagues for her inexcusable behavior?" and "Does focus solely on her emotional experience while exhibiting little or no empathy for yours? (sic)") with ridiculous, not even funny fake signs ("Is her lipstick a little too red? Is it applied like theater makeup and a tad crooked?").
She then continues to say things like "If you think you may be involved with an abusive woman, good luck." and "You’re not alone. They’re everywhere." I fail to see how this is helpful for these abuse victims. Don't we want to aid victims of abuse in escaping the abusive relationship and seeking ways to end the cycle of victimization? Because I don't think saying "good luck" really cuts it as a mental health professional.
(More after the jump)
