Apologies

Hi all,
I just wanted to apologize for my absenteeism. I am not abandoning my blog and I am certainly not abandoning my issues. Unfortunately, as some of you who know me personally know, my mother is rather sick right now and I am focusing on doing what I can to help her and making sure I pull my own weight at work. I do have a few posts that I have started and been unable to finish. Perhaps I will knock one of them out tonight, but more than likely it will still be a few days.

On the bright side, my mom seems to be slowly getting better from this current setback. PLUS I voted today, so that is good.

That's all for now. My best to all my readers.

Bodies: Olympic Sponsorship Edition

Okay, so I am deeply bothered to learn that the strongest athlete in America, Sarah Robles, has to accept donations from her friends just to keep her head above water. Jessica Testa from Buzzfeed fills us in. Robles can lift more weight than any other American competitor (men included), but she only receives $400 monthly from U.S.A. Weightlifting. Unfortunately, "PowerBar is Robles’ only product sponsorship and her name isn’t yet big enough to land her any big special appearances." 


This is problematic, once again, because much of the reason for her lack of sponsorship is her body type. In order to lift 568 pounds, her body has to be large enough to support that. That means she's not going to look like Venus or Serena Williams, Maria Sharapova, Jennie Finch, or Abby Wambach. She has a much broader frame than any of those women. That's great for her sport, but not for getting corporate sponsorships. 


(My full wrath after the jump.)

Check it Out: Rape Jokes Edition

Kate Harding collected 15 rape jokes she found funny here. I didn't find all of them funny, but most of them made me chuckle. They all followed her two simple rules, "A) they’re constructed so that rape victims are not the butt of the joke, and B) they made me laugh." I do think it is sad that Dane Cook can tell a funny rape joke that isn't damaging to hear, but most other hacks can't. Get it together, comedians.


I also am going to repost the link to Lindy West's Jezebel article because it was helpful.


And in case you missed Jessica Valenti's article at the Nation, here it is again.


Curtis Luciani wrote about why only very skilled comedians are able to tell rape jokes and jokes about other very damaging experiences.


This one needs a MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING. This is another Tosh.0 video showing a "prank" that involves two teenage boys and a large dildo. I kinda want to throw up now. 

Just For Fun

In case you need some quick relief because all my serious posts are getting you down, you can check out "The Usual Suspects" of men who comment on feminist blogs.

I have yet to get comments like this on my blog (only on Reddit), so thank you to any dudes who have been reading my blog. Congratulations! I love you. Thankfully, I know some male feminists and a lot of best case scenarios. If you're a dude who falls into one of the awesome categories, feel free to shout it out loud and proud. We appreciate you!

Why I Should Avoid Reddit: Arguing Against Rape Jokes [Update]

*Trigger warning: This post discusses rape jokes and insensitivity to rape survivors.*
[Update: I added two links to other relevant and brilliant articles at the bottom.]

Thank you, xkcd. You have perfectly summed up my evening.


Last night I intended to go shamelessly promote my "Nice Guys" post over at Reddit, and when I go there, I always check out some of the other posts in the hot and new sections of the Feminism subreddit. Unfortunately for me, there was a huge debate going on on several posts regarding Daniel Tosh of Comedy Central's Tosh.O. 


In case you don't know Tosh or his brand of offensive slurs and homophobic rants strung together humor, here is a brief video:

Tosh.0
Get More: Tosh.0 Videos,Daniel Tosh,Web Redemption

Source

(Reason for the outrage after the jump)

The Promised "Nice Guys" Post

Okay, in my "Abuse is Not Funny" post last week, I promised I would weigh in on "Nice Guy" syndrome and its implications. This is a subject that has certainly been discussed by many people with as many different views. 

I will begin this discussion by saying that I am not trying to indicate that there are no men who are legitimately nice out there. I know there are because I've known them and in fact, I've dated them. Men can be genuinely nice while also being aggressive, funny, and popular. I've dated and been friends with these men. There are also men who are capable of being shy, mostly passive, sweet, and also genuinely nice and interested. I have also dated a man like this and been friends with others. My point is that this is not about men who are genuinely nice, who are interested in being friends with people, and who are clear about their expectations and desires (even if it takes them a little while to work up the nerve to communicate them). 


Most of this discussion and debate focuses around men who are interested in women. I am going to be clear and say that there are men who behave like this toward other men they are interested in and there are women who behave like this toward their desired partners. This is really a social issue, not just a feminist one, so don't go away from this thinking I'm beating up on heterosexual males.


(My actual analysis begins after the jump.)

Abuse is Not Funny [Edit]

*Trigger warning: this post discusses domestic abuse (although not in detail)*


[EDIT: This post raised some interesting questions from various readers. I have since changed the wording of a sentence in the last paragraph. My issue with the pathologizing of female behavior is not to diminish domestic abuse committed by women. In fact, it is an attempt to help differentiate between people complaining about their female partners' annoying behavior and people disclosing their female partners' abusive behavior. The line is sometimes blurred and I appreciate that people are recognizing the importance of encouraging victims of abuse by women to come forward for help. The societal views will not change unless we demand that they do.]

So, I was directed via Facebook to a lol--omg--so freaking funny blog post over at Shrink4Men by Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, in which she trivializes female abusers at the same time as she warns of their danger. The "crazy bitch quiz," which is an advertisement for her remote counseling services offered for a fee via Skype, mixes serious warning signs of abusive relationships ("Do you find yourself making excuses to your family, friends and colleagues for her inexcusable behavior?" and "Does focus solely on her emotional experience while exhibiting little or no empathy for yours? (sic)") with ridiculous, not even funny fake signs ("Is her lipstick a little too red? Is it applied like theater makeup and a tad crooked?"). 

She then continues to say things like "If you think you may be involved with an abusive woman, good luck." and "You’re not alone. They’re everywhere." I fail to see how this is helpful for these abuse victims. Don't we want to aid victims of abuse in escaping the abusive relationship and seeking ways to end the cycle of victimization? Because I don't think saying "good luck" really cuts it as a mental health professional.


(More after the jump)